im gay
i know
yea but for you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
