it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
