found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
