never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
