I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
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