i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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