K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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