I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
