PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
