I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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