What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
