True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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