there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
FUCK WHALES
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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