I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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