some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he fucked my hip out of place.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
