The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
