Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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