Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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