She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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