I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
