Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
