I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
