i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
