I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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