just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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