I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
