8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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