oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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