You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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