Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize