i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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