don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i will never coherently bang her
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
