I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
