my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
