you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
