bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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