his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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