It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
