So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
