I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
