u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize