Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize