Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No subtext here. People are naked.
she peed on how many people?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
