Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You work out of a Hotel?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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