why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
