Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
