Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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