tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think I won the penis lottery.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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