She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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