that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
