just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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