Tell her she can't have a vagina
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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