Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
