so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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