I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This house was built for laser tag.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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