is your mom at the bar?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
