? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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