a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
