She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
