just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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