its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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