Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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