I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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