Screwed.edu
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
