when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
