My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
