he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
